Island Richards

Ah, another year older (another few for my back). I’ve sat here most of the morning reading the news, pretty much alone, because everyone else in the house is still asleep

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas! We gave the kids the game “Rock Band” and it seems that playing it is all we’ve done for the last two days. What a fun and addictive game. Sure, it doesn’t teach “Real” musical skills, but for those of us that are melodically challenged it is a brief interlude into a world where we can all be famous music stars! Plus, it has the whole family spending hours together playing. What fun!

I hope everyone has a Happy New Year!

Island

I was working the counter last Thursday when three travellers came in looking a little lost. The threesome was composed of two young South African men and a young white woman with what I think was a New Jersey accent. One of the gentlemen and the young lady came up to the counter, and asked if I could help them with directions.

“I’ll do what I can,” I answered, “what can I help you find?”

“Can you tell us how to get to here?” she asked, point at a line on her Mapquest printout that said Merge left onto I-84 Westbound.

“I’m sorry,” I told them, “You can’t get there from here.” I pointed at the first line on their printout, that referred to an intersection in Kansas (we were in Western Wyoming) and said,”See here where it says ‘turn left’? Mapquest was wrong, you should have turned right, then you’d be heading the right way.”

The young lady immediately turned around and punched the man she was with in the arm and yelled, “You son of a bitch! I told you we were going the wrong way! Now we have to go all the way back!”

“No, no, I was kidding,” I quickly interjected, trying to control my laughter, “You’re going the right way. The turnoff is another 130 miles or so West of here.”

“That way?” she asked pointing confused toward the East.

“No, that way,” I told her pointing toward the West.

“Yeah you dummy,” her friend said in his heavy South African accent. “W – E – S – T, West! Do you understand? West!”

They were still fighting when the three of them got in their car and headed out of the parking lot in the wrong direction.

These are the moments when it is all worth while

Wisdom

We went to Sea World during our 2007 summer vacation in July. While there, Brandon and I participated in the Beluga Whale interaction where we suited up in wetsuits and went into the freezing water with the whales. This was one of the coolest experiences of my life. These animals are amazing. They are so powerful, so intelligent, and so gentle.

J Island and McKenna participated in the Dolphin interaction also. They thoroughly enjoyed it.

During our vacation, McKenna also spent the week at Zoo Camp at the San Diego Zoo. She says she loved it.

Scott, Dad, Kelly and I had big game licenses for Little Mountain this year. Scott and Dad had deer and Kelly and I had elk. We all tagged trophies. Dad’s buck and my bull were respectable, but Scott’s buck and Kelly’s bull were awesome.

It was my first big game animal I have ever taken. I took him using Scott’s 30-378 rifle with one shot at 289 yards, slightly downhill, upstream from Dad’s property on Current Creek, above Jane’s Meadow. He was a six point bull. He wasn’t the biggest bull I saw during the season, but he was a nice one.

I have never been all that interested in big game hunting, but I enjoyed it immensely. I spent more time in November with my Dad and brothers than I have in the last 10 years and saw more country in Sweetwater County than I have in the last 36 years.

Really. Yes, Really. We love our customers. If we didn’t, there’s no way we could make it through day after day of dealing with them without going completely insane. That doesn’t mean that we don’t get a few people every day that test our loving resolve.

Take, for instance, the idiot that doesn’t know how to prepay for gasoline. Yes, I know that you’re not that idiot, so don’t get offended, but those other idiots can really try a convenience store clerks patience. Just for arguments sake though, let’s just say you are that idiot, and let’s just pretend I’m talking directly to you.

If you’re going to buy gasoline, you’re going to have to prepay. So, to help you out, I’ve put together these ten laws of prepay, just for you.

First, prepay means just that. You pay me for the fuel before I turn on the dispenser and let you fill your tank. Prepay takes many forms. It can mean you handing me cash. It can mean you handing me a check (if my store is one of the rare stores that take them). And it can mean you handing me a credit card or debit card to be charged a set amount or for me to hold while you pump. You can even hand me your driver’s license (yours, not your wife’s, not your husbands, yours). All of these things work. Don’t, however, try to make up some new way to do it, like calling me on your cell phone so I have your phone number. I don’t want your phone number, and I don’t have time to explain to you why your way doesn’t work.

Second, please, please, please, don’t try to tell me that this is the first time in your protected little life that you have ever come across a gas station that makes you prepay. Yeah, I know it’s relatively new in that podunk town in Arkansas that you grew up in, but if you’ve driven on even a county highway, you’ve run into a gas station where prepay is required. So don’t tell me that this is your first time.

Third, don’t be the guy who walks in and just alternates staring at me and looking back out through the window at your car parked by the pump. I’m not pyschic. Yes, I do know what you’re thinking, but I’m still not psychic. If you want something, say something. Otherwise, I’m just going to pretend you’re stupid and talk to you like you are four.

Fourth, don’t stick your nose halfway through the door and order me to turn the pump on for you. I’m not going to. Likewise, don’t push the ‘help’ button or the ’speak to attendant’ button on the pump and tell me the same thing. Just save us both the grief and don’t argue with me about it. Yes, I know you’re honest, just like I knew all those people who stole gas and forced the industry to require prepay were honest. (See Wisdom’s Law #4)And yes, I know you’re special, too, and deserve to be treated better than the other thousand people or so that I see every day. But I’m not your mommy, and I’m going to treat you just like everyone else, which means you are going to prepay.

Fifth, please, please, please, don’t be that sweet little old lady (or the nasty crack whore for that matter) that comes in and says, “My husband’s getting gas out there. I’ll stay here untill he’s done and pay.” No, no, no. I don’t want a hostage. I don’t want to be the guy that has to tackle a 74 year old lady when she decides not to stay in the store when her bladder tells her to head out to the outside bathroom! Just work with me here. Prepay. Prepay. Prepay.

Sixth, don’t show me the wad of cash in your pocket and say, “But I don’t know how much I’ll need?” I don’t know how much you’ll need either, so don’t ask me. It’s your car, remember? Make an educated guess. Please don’t be that person who makes me make you feel stupid when you say with a blank look, “I don’t know what to do.” I don’t want to make you feel stupid, but I will. I will, damn you. And don’t give me half of what you think you’ll need and say, “If it takes more, I’ll be back in to pay the rest.” No. No. No. If you want more, give me more money now. That’s why it’s called prepay. On the same note, don’t make make five trips inside and give me five bucks each time. It is a complete waste of both of our time. Just give me the twenty five bucks the first time. And don’t give me thirty bucks, then come back after you use it, and give me another ten when you’re gonna pump 18 more cents! You’re going to be embarrassed.

Seventh, after you throw a hundred dollar bill on the counter and say, “That’s for gas out in the white truck.” (because your white truck is surely the only one out there), and I say, “Thank you,” you really don’t have to stop, turn around, and tell me, “It probably won’t take it all.” I know already. It’s understood. And don’t ask me what happens if you don’t use it all. It’s common sense. But you’re still going to make me say it, aren’t you? OK, I’ll say it, here it goes, “It’s alright, I’ll get you change if you don’t use it all.” There, I said it. Happy now?

Eighth, don’t shove that hundred dollar bill in my face while I’m taking care of another customer. I know you’re more important than him, but I’m trying really hard to build up that other guy’s self esteem, so don’t interrupt. Just pretend your mommy taught you that one manner, okay. Along those same lines, don’t just toss your money onto the counter and walk away, either. I’ll just assume it’s a gift. People give me free money all the time and I’ll just confuse you with them.

Ninth, don’t tell me how you don’t like to leave your cash/check/credit card/debit card with a clerk because you’re afraid that we’re going to steal it. If I wanted to steal your cash, I wouldn’t do it while I’m wearing a name tag. If you’re that worried, ask for a receipt when you give me your cash. I don’t mind. In fact, I’m shocked that everyone doesn’t. And as for your credit card numbers, if I wanted to steal them, I don’t need for you to leave the card with me to do that. Credit card transactions are so insecure that it’s almost scary. I can take them out of the computer any time I want. Sorry, it’s just reality. Don’t shoot the messenger.

Tenth, take half of a second and look at the number of the pump you’re parked at, BEFORE you come in. Don’t hand me your hundred bucks or your credit card and stand there staring outside for thirty seconds. Don’t tell me, “that far one up here,” and Dear God, don’t guess your pump number. When you tell me the wrong pump, and someone else uses it, IT IS A COMPLETE PAIN IN THE ASS TO FIX. More than that, it can mean erroneous charges on your credit card. I really want to do it right, but I need you to help out just a little, OK?

So, there it is. Ten laws of prepay. What? Are you telling me again that you don’t like prepay? Too bad! I don’t care that you don’t like prepay. I don’t like it either, but it is a fact of life. I don’t care that you don’t have time to make two trips. I don’t care that you think it is inefficient. I don’t care if you feel untrusted. I don’t care that you are driving a ‘work truck’ or that you drive a Mercedes. I don’t care that you’re a doctor and I don’t care that your uncle’s bosses cousin knows the owner of the store. I don’t care. You still have to prepay.

Have a nice day

In June and July, J Island spent three weeks in Europe as part of the People to People Student Ambassador program. Below are the photo albums for his trip. Click on them to activate them.

Album 1

Album 2 

Fred Thompson has formed an exploratory committee to test the feasibility of a 2008 Presidential bid! It’s about time we Republicans have a candidate that we can be excited about.

Check out his official website at imwithfred.com

Donate to his campaign here.

Wisdom

Proof That Curdled Cream Rises To The Top! 

The Dixie Chicks took home five Grammies this weekend, proving that talent and intelligence can be mutually exclusive.

Natalie Maines’ acceptance speech consisted of a mocking quote from The Simpsons, “Heh heehh!” Good for you Natalie! The fact is that the Dixie Chicks ARE talented and DO make great music. The other fact is, like so many other celebrities, they chose to use the fame that their talents afforded them as a soapbox from which to spew their idiotic political absurdities.

They seem to think that the winning of music awards is a sign that their political folly is justified, and that they have somehow spit in the face of their detractors. They couldn’t be more wrong. Their decision to combine their music with their political views has resulted in millions of dollars of lost sales and being blacklisted from most of the country radio stations in America. They are great artists, but not very many people are listening. They have already ran them all off.

You know, Edgar Allan Poe was a phenomenally talented writer. He not only created great stories, he created an entire genre of writing. He also died penniless and face down in a gutter. Van Gogh created 2000 works of art in his life including 900 paintings. He will be remembered forever as one of the greatest artists in history. He died before he was 40, infected by syphilis, after having cut off his own ear, of a self inflicted gunshot wound to the chest. I bet they had powerfully important political views! And I’m sure someday, someone will care what those views were.

The Dixie Chicks have pioneered their own brand of rebel country music. They are great singers and great performers. I bet they have powerfully important political views! And I’m sure someday, someone will care what those views were. Well, that is if anyone remembers who they are.

Wisdom

A good article from George Will at Newsweek.

Inconvenient Kyoto Truths
Was life better when a sheet of ice a mile thick covered Chicago? Was it worse when Greenland was so warm that Vikings farmed there?

By George F. Will
Newsweek

Feb. 12, 2007 issue – Enough already. It is time to call some bluffs. John Kerry says that one reason America has become an “international pariah” is President Bush’s decision to “walk away from global warming.” Kerry’s accusation is opaque, but it implies the usual complaint that Bush is insufficiently enthusiastic about the Kyoto Protocol’s binding caps on emissions of greenhouse gases. Many senators and other experts in climate science say we must “do something” about global warming. Barack Obama says “the world” is watching to see “what action we take.”

Fine. President Bush should give the world something amusing to watch. He should demand that the Senate vote on the protocol.

Climate Cassandras say the facts are clear and the case is closed. (Sen. Barbara Boxer: “We’re not going to take a lot of time debating this anymore.”) The consensus catechism about global warming has six tenets: 1. Global warming is happening. 2. It is our (humanity’s, but especially America’s) fault. 3. It will continue unless we mend our ways. 4. If it continues we are in grave danger. 5. We know how to slow or even reverse the warming. 6. The benefits from doing that will far exceed the costs.

Only the first tenet is clearly true, and only in the sense that the Earth warmed about 0.7 degrees Celsius in the 20th century. We do not know the extent to which human activity caused this. The activity is economic growth, the wealth-creation that makes possible improved well-being—better nutrition, medicine, education, etc. How much reduction of such social goods are we willing to accept by slowing economic activity in order to (try to) regulate the planet’s climate?

Read More

American Idol Judges, Producer Deny ‘Cruelty’ to Contestants

Goody admits to making racist comments

Controversy Grows Over Anti-Gay Remark

A recent wave of controversial incidents shows the prejudicial side of Hollywood

The links above show just a smattering of the crybaby bawling that is going on in the world. Is everyone in the world so unhappy that they have to scour the internet to find celebrities whose lives are, or should be, worse than theirs?

Who cares if Britney likes to hang out in nightclubs? Does it change any of our lives? No, it doesn’t. You can cry about her lifestyle all you want, but it is HER lifestyle, not yours. When so many kids in our country are dealing with so much more, why are so many people worried about the quality of her children’s lives? Even if they are raised by nannies and Britney only sees them once a month, they will still have more advantages than almost any other kid out there. The reality is that the children of the ultra wealthy have lived that way for generations, and no one ever cared before. Now that we have the internet and “entertainment news” all of a sudden their lifestyles should be picked apart for any sign of weakness.

Do we really need to protect the contestants of American Idol from cruelty? Is it cruel to tell someone who sings like a howling coyote that he or she sings like a howling coyote? When did honesty become cruelty? Simon simply gives these would be stars a taste of what the public and the paparazzi will do to them if they somehow do become famous. If they can’t handle Simon telling them that they look like an idiot in that outfit on American Idol, how are they going to handle it when Joan Rivers tells the world that they look like an idiot in that outfit on the Red Carpet?

That brings me to Gibson, Goody, and Washington, and Richards. Why, when someone can act and entertain, do we give their personal opinions greater weight than anyone else’s? There are a lot people in this world that are bigots, racists, and homophobes. Why does it become an international incident when an actor proves to be one? Does the fact that Michael Richards can’t argue with a black man without using the N word really affect anyone? If you don’t like it, vote with your dollars and don’t go see his shows. Do the people of Britain, the producers of Big Brother, the CEO of Channel 4 and every white person in the world really need to be punished because Jade Goody is tactless idiot? Shetty is painted as a poor victim, (Even though she got paid about $4 million for being there). There are people every day of the week all over the world who experience needless racism and pathetic bullying without getting paid for it. The Big Brother show concept aims to bring out peoples real feelings, and we are all shocked that those feeling really came out, now a nation of almost a billion people are pissed off because of one or two real emotions. Mel Gibson doesn’t like Jews. Holy Shit! What are we going to do now!!! Every religion in the world condemns the members of every other religion to hell. We are all taught that lesson in our own version of Bible study. But when we grow up we are told that now we have to be tolerant and accepting of everyone else’s religion. Heck, if Satan himself were on the subway next to us, we would be expected to show tolerance! Does it really change the world that Mel doesn’t like Jews when he’s drunk? NO, it doesn’t. Isaiah Washington called costar T.R. Knight a “faggot”. I’ve been called a faggot in my life, and it didn’t change my life a bit. If I was gay and someone called me a faggot, would that be any different? I don’t think so. It doesn’t change the world.

It doesn’t change the world. I’ll say it again. It doesn’t change the world.

It reflects the world.

We are so pissed off at our own reflections that we go into a tizzy every time someone reminds us that we aren’t perfect. We want to punish celebrities who show behaviors that happen everyday in real life. The fact is, racism is real. Bigotry is real. Perfection is not. We don’t need to punish someone every time we are reminded of this. We don’t need to cancel a television show every time that it gives us a dose of that imperfect reality. We need to quit being crybabies and get over it.

Wisdom