Found this one at WayOdd.com. Can you imagine?

Wisdom

Woman Complains To Police About Bad Cocaine She Purchased

December 19, 2006
In the strangest ever complaint lodged to police, a 50-year-old North Carolina woman said that the crack cocaine she had just purchased wasn’t very good.

Police arrested Eloise D. Reaves after she approached the Putnam County sheriff’s deputy at a convenience store Friday, complaining him that another man had sold her “bad crack” that contained wax and cocaine.

According to the Palatka Daily News’s Tuesday editions, Reaves reportedly pulled an alleged crack rock out of her mouth and placed it on the deputy’s car for inspection.

Reaves was informed by the police that she could be arrested if the crack tested positive for cocaine.

According to AP, the woman was charged with possession of cocaine and bonded out for $1,504.

Additionally, the Police also searched the man whom Reaves accused of selling the cocaine but he said he did not know Reaves.

After the deputy searched him, he found the man did not have any cocaine or money on him.

This article was posted all over the net on Dec 11, 2006.

Arctic may lose all ice by summer 2040

Tuesday Dec 12 11:45 AEDT

Global warming could leave the Arctic without ice during the summer as early as 2040, a study by a team of US and Canadian scientists shows.

“The effects of greenhouse warming are starting to rear their ugly head,” said Mark Serreze, a scientist at theNational Snow and Ice Data Centre at the University of Colorado in Boulder.

The research found that the extent of sea ice each September could be reduced so abruptly that, within about 20 years, it may begin retreating four times faster than at any time in the observed record.

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All you have to do is ask one of these idiots how much snow is going to fall next year, or what the average temperature is going to be next year. Hell, ask them how much snow is going to fall, and what the temperature is going to be tomorrow for that matter. THEY CAN’T TELL YOU!!!! How can they even come close to telling us what the weather is going to be like in 20 or 40 years?
This is just another example of junk science where the extrapolation of data is engineered to “prove” the theory that is put forth. These weenies are so intent on keeping their grants that they’re willing to lie to everyone to keep the money flowing.
Wisdom

Sometimes a trip to the convenience store is a real trip!

Wisdom

E02. Adagio’s Trip at the Convenience Store

It all began when I had internal dialog stating reasons why I should not venture out into society. Why I should stay in my residence safe and sound away from any uncertainties; yet a friend calls to have discussions and request to venture out to fill our bellies with warm comfort food and I ponder for a moment…I have food here, I have books, I have music, I have Internet access, I have DVDs, I have drink, wait…I’m out of wine. But I have tea, I have coffee, I have vitamin water, I have all that I need.

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A few years ago, I was in the liquor store section of one of my C-stores, hurriedly throwing up a just delivered order, while a wisened assistant manager was training a new clerk.

A customer walked into the liquor store, with about a 10 year old little girl at her heel, and asked the new clerk, “How much are your minis?”

The new clerk replied, “What kind are you looking for ma’am?”

“I’ll tell you what kind I’m looking for when you tell me how much they are!” the customer quipped in an increasingly agitated voice.

The assistant manager quickly stepped up to the counter and said, “I’m sorry ma’am. I think what she’s trying to ask is what kind are you looking for. Whiskey, schnapps, rum, vodka? There’s about thirty different kinds of minis down here and I’m sure you don’t want all the prices.”

The now livid customer looked at the new clerk and asked her, “Is this lady training you?” She gestured toward the assistant manager and continued, “Because if she is, you don’t stand a chance. She’s the rudest, most incompentent trainer I’ve ever seen!”

At about this time I decided to step into the discussion. “Is there a problem ma’am?” I asked.

“Yes there’s a problem, these people are rude and incompetent. All I want is a price and they won’t give me one!”

“Well, ma’am, I’ve actually been standing here listening the entire time, and my people have been nothing but polite to you. They’re just trying to get an idea of what you want so they don’t have to give a big list of prices.”

“My God!” she yelled, “will you just tell me how much your fucking minis are?” throwing up her arms.

In a soft but level tone of voice, I asked quietly, “Ma’am, are you from Utah?”

Taken aback, and a little confused, she stuttered, “Why?”

“Because,” I answered, “You’re being a real bitch, and someone from Wyoming wouldn’t be treating people like this. So…you must be from Utah. Are you?”

The lady grabbed her daughter by the arm, yanking her nearly off her feet, and dragged her out through the front door, into her gold colored Honda Civic, sporting Utah plates, and sped out of the parking lot.

Sometimes, everything just falls perfectly into place.

Wisdom

A catchy story I came across

Wisdom

Sat 18 Nov 2006

“Terror at the Mini-Mart”

Posted by Steve B under Creative Writing , Fiction , Work Avoidance

“Do you take checks?”

“I’m sorry, sir, no checks.”  He felt a sudden tightness in his chest, the first hints of a panicky fear.  Oh please, dear god, no.

“Uhmm….Credit Card?”  he ventured hopefully.

“No, sir. Cash Only, I’m afraid.”  The tightness became a vise around his ribs, crushing against his heart.  He gulped once, then twice, and with a trembling hand, drew out his wallet and fished out a couple of bills.

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