Found this one at WayOdd.com. Can you imagine?

Wisdom

Woman Complains To Police About Bad Cocaine She Purchased

December 19, 2006
In the strangest ever complaint lodged to police, a 50-year-old North Carolina woman said that the crack cocaine she had just purchased wasn’t very good.

Police arrested Eloise D. Reaves after she approached the Putnam County sheriff’s deputy at a convenience store Friday, complaining him that another man had sold her “bad crack” that contained wax and cocaine.

According to the Palatka Daily News’s Tuesday editions, Reaves reportedly pulled an alleged crack rock out of her mouth and placed it on the deputy’s car for inspection.

Reaves was informed by the police that she could be arrested if the crack tested positive for cocaine.

According to AP, the woman was charged with possession of cocaine and bonded out for $1,504.

Additionally, the Police also searched the man whom Reaves accused of selling the cocaine but he said he did not know Reaves.

After the deputy searched him, he found the man did not have any cocaine or money on him.

This article was posted all over the net on Dec 11, 2006.

Arctic may lose all ice by summer 2040

Tuesday Dec 12 11:45 AEDT

Global warming could leave the Arctic without ice during the summer as early as 2040, a study by a team of US and Canadian scientists shows.

“The effects of greenhouse warming are starting to rear their ugly head,” said Mark Serreze, a scientist at theNational Snow and Ice Data Centre at the University of Colorado in Boulder.

The research found that the extent of sea ice each September could be reduced so abruptly that, within about 20 years, it may begin retreating four times faster than at any time in the observed record.

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All you have to do is ask one of these idiots how much snow is going to fall next year, or what the average temperature is going to be next year. Hell, ask them how much snow is going to fall, and what the temperature is going to be tomorrow for that matter. THEY CAN’T TELL YOU!!!! How can they even come close to telling us what the weather is going to be like in 20 or 40 years?
This is just another example of junk science where the extrapolation of data is engineered to “prove” the theory that is put forth. These weenies are so intent on keeping their grants that they’re willing to lie to everyone to keep the money flowing.
Wisdom

Sometimes a trip to the convenience store is a real trip!

Wisdom

E02. Adagio’s Trip at the Convenience Store

It all began when I had internal dialog stating reasons why I should not venture out into society. Why I should stay in my residence safe and sound away from any uncertainties; yet a friend calls to have discussions and request to venture out to fill our bellies with warm comfort food and I ponder for a moment…I have food here, I have books, I have music, I have Internet access, I have DVDs, I have drink, wait…I’m out of wine. But I have tea, I have coffee, I have vitamin water, I have all that I need.

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A few years ago, I was in the liquor store section of one of my C-stores, hurriedly throwing up a just delivered order, while a wisened assistant manager was training a new clerk.

A customer walked into the liquor store, with about a 10 year old little girl at her heel, and asked the new clerk, “How much are your minis?”

The new clerk replied, “What kind are you looking for ma’am?”

“I’ll tell you what kind I’m looking for when you tell me how much they are!” the customer quipped in an increasingly agitated voice.

The assistant manager quickly stepped up to the counter and said, “I’m sorry ma’am. I think what she’s trying to ask is what kind are you looking for. Whiskey, schnapps, rum, vodka? There’s about thirty different kinds of minis down here and I’m sure you don’t want all the prices.”

The now livid customer looked at the new clerk and asked her, “Is this lady training you?” She gestured toward the assistant manager and continued, “Because if she is, you don’t stand a chance. She’s the rudest, most incompentent trainer I’ve ever seen!”

At about this time I decided to step into the discussion. “Is there a problem ma’am?” I asked.

“Yes there’s a problem, these people are rude and incompetent. All I want is a price and they won’t give me one!”

“Well, ma’am, I’ve actually been standing here listening the entire time, and my people have been nothing but polite to you. They’re just trying to get an idea of what you want so they don’t have to give a big list of prices.”

“My God!” she yelled, “will you just tell me how much your fucking minis are?” throwing up her arms.

In a soft but level tone of voice, I asked quietly, “Ma’am, are you from Utah?”

Taken aback, and a little confused, she stuttered, “Why?”

“Because,” I answered, “You’re being a real bitch, and someone from Wyoming wouldn’t be treating people like this. So…you must be from Utah. Are you?”

The lady grabbed her daughter by the arm, yanking her nearly off her feet, and dragged her out through the front door, into her gold colored Honda Civic, sporting Utah plates, and sped out of the parking lot.

Sometimes, everything just falls perfectly into place.

Wisdom

A catchy story I came across

Wisdom

Sat 18 Nov 2006

“Terror at the Mini-Mart”

Posted by Steve B under Creative Writing , Fiction , Work Avoidance

“Do you take checks?”

“I’m sorry, sir, no checks.”  He felt a sudden tightness in his chest, the first hints of a panicky fear.  Oh please, dear god, no.

“Uhmm….Credit Card?”  he ventured hopefully.

“No, sir. Cash Only, I’m afraid.”  The tightness became a vise around his ribs, crushing against his heart.  He gulped once, then twice, and with a trembling hand, drew out his wallet and fished out a couple of bills.

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On October 18, members of the Sweetwater County Fire District #1 fire department spent a part of their morning teaching a fire prevention class to a group of preschoolers. The firefighters, mostly volunteers, came to the preschool in Rock Springs at the request of the preschool teachers, who knew that one of the firefighters’ children was a student at the school. The firefighters have done these kinds of classes hundreds of times, teaching children fire prevention and safety, and encouraging good will between them and the communities they serve. And, as the old saying goes, “An ounce of prevention….”

This time, though, there was a catch. A catch that came in the form of a Violation Notice from the Rock Springs Fire Department.

Rock Springs Fire Department -
600 College Drive
Rock Springs, WY 82901
Phone (307) 352-1475
Fax (307) 352-1481
fire_inspector@rswy.net
Violation Notice

Date: 10/18/2006

To: Sweetwater County Fire District #1
3010 College Drive
Rock Springs, WY 82901

RE: Public Fire Education within City Limits*
_____________________________________________________

It has been noted that on October 18, 2006 your agency conducted public fire prevention activities*, within the City of Rock Springs, without permission or coordination with the Rock Springs Fire Department. This is a violation of the International Fire Code 2006 edition as adopted by the City of Rock Springs.

104.12 Public Fire Education. The Rock Springs Fire Department, or other agents appointed by the fire code official, shall be charged with the coordination of public fire education within the corporate limits of the City of Rock Springs.

You are hereby ordered to immediately cease in this activity and coordinate all future public fire education, within the City of Rock Springs, with the Rock Springs Fire Department. If this action continues further action may be taken, as the law requires. If there are any questions please contact the Fire Inspector at 352-1484.

Carl Blanksvard
Fire Inspector

*Emphasis Added by author.

Apparently, it is illegal in the City of Rock Springs, Wyoming to educate children about fire prevention and safety without the permission of Carl Blanksvard, the City Fire Inspector.

Historically, there has always been friction between the Rock Springs Fire Department and Sweetwater County Fire District #1. Fire District #1 was, in fact, created to do a job that the members of the Rock Springs Fire Department had previously be paid by Sweetwater County to do: give fire protection to the populated but unincorporated parts of Sweetwater County. The Rock Springs firefighters, worried that the possible success of a mixed department (partially made up of full time firefighters but mostly made up of on call volunteers) would put their own job security at stake, have for years hoped that Fire District #1 would be a miserable failure. To their dismay, Sweetwater County Fire District #1 has grown to be one of the most highly trained, and highly respected rural fire departments in the nation.

There have been many of these territorial disputes in the past. The Rock Springs Fire Department has demanded that the Fire District not participate in Safety Day at the local Wal-Mart. They have demanded that the volunteer firefighters not raise donations for the Muscular Dystrophy Association in Rock Springs. And several times in the past they have complained when Fire District #1 firefighters have provided fire prevention training to other school children in the community, both at schools, and by hosting the children at the Fire District #1 headquarters.This is the first time, however, that the Rock Springs Fire Department has gone so far as to claim that it is actually illegal for Fire District #1 to provide fire prevention education to the public.

Using their interpretation of the International Fire Code, it is also illegal for an elementary school teacher to teach the children in their classes fire education without Inspector Blanksvard’s permission. It is illegal for a teacher in the high school welding class to teach his students how to use the fire extinguisher without Inspector Blanksvard’s permission. It is illegal for the college to teach it’s personnel how to react to a fire at the campus without Inspector Blanksvard’s permission. It is illegal for Halliburton, Schlumberger, and ExxonMobil to teach their employees fire safety in their Rock Springs facilities without Inspector Blanksvard’s permission.

Give me a break! The Rock Springs Fire Department needs to get over itself, and Fire Inspector Carl Blanksvard needs to find something else to do with his time than prevent school children from receiving fire prevention and safety education. The fact is, schools are requesting these services from the staff of Sweetwater County Fire District #1 because they have found that the educational opportunities the District provides are better than those they can get anywhere else, including from the Rock Springs Fire Department. The Rock Springs Fire Department should be happy that other agencies are teaching these types of classes in Rock Springs because it means their job will be easier and their constituents lives will be safer.

More than that, even, Rock Springs’ interpretation of the 2006 International Fire Code is a clear violation of the First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States. For any government agency to think that they can force iron fisted control over any segment of public education is pure fascism, and that kind of censorship has no place in Wyoming, or anywhere else in this country. I am interested to know how the Sweetwater County School District #1 Board of Directors feels about that interpretation.

And do you know what, Inspector Blanksvard? The saddest part of all of this is that you completely misinterpreted the intent of the paragraph from the International Fire Code that you cited in your Violation Notice. The code isn’t really attempting to give you control over public fire education. What it is saying, is that it is your job to make sure there IS public fire education in the City of Rock Springs. So do your job, sir! Coordinate some public fire education in your city! Call the schools, call the preschools, call the churches, and call the businesses and tell them you want to provide quality public fire education to all of them, and tell them you will do it to the same standards that the Sweetwater County Fire District #1 is doing it now. Recognize the Fire District #1 personnel for the valuable community resource that they are and ask for their help! And if you can’t do that, stay the Hell out of the way and let the professional do their jobs.

Peace,

Wisdom

________________________________

Want to tell The Rock Springs Fire Department and the City of Rock Springs how you feel about this insanity?

Rock Springs Mayor and City Council

Rock Springs Fire Department

Chief
Brad Sarff
Phone: 307-352-1475
Fax: 307-352-1481

Battalion Chiefs
Lyle Armstrong, A Shift
John C. Rodiack, B Shift
Allen K. Bird, C Shift

Fire Inspector-Battalion Chief
Carl Blanksvard
(307) 352-1484

Which South Park kid are you most like?KyleYou are clever, and often come up with intelligent and funny comebacks to other people’s stupid remarks.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

Thanks to Joe over at Western Wisdom for pointing this one out.

Small variations in the Earth’s orbit dictate how much sunlight certain areas of the Earth get.

Wobbly Earth causes climate change, extinctions: researchers

Updated Fri. Oct. 13 2006 12:14 PM ET

Brian Jackson , DiscoveryChannel.ca

Earth’s orbit isn’t perfect. In fact, it’s as wobbly as a beach ball floating in a swimming pool, says the latest research. Now scientists are blaming the imperfect orbit for the extinction of ancient Spanish rodents.

There are a number of ways the Earth’s orbit can vary. Its shape around the sun can be more or less circular, or the tilt of the poles in relation to the Sun can change, for example. These small variations can last for tens of thousands to millions of years.

Variations like this transform the Earth’s climate by altering the sunlight available in different parts of the planet. Scientists have supposed this could lead to an impact on life, but couldn’t prove it until now.

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Could it be? An explanation for climate change that doesn’t include blaming my Ford F250? No way! I bet no one ever sees this study again. You know. No money in a problem you can’t fix.

Wisdom

It is official. Spanish is now the official language of the United States. Why? Because Wal-Mart says so. Not in so many words maybe, but definitely by their actions. It started innocently enough. First one, then two clerks with little attachments on their name tags that say “Habla Espanol.” Then the headlines of the celebrity magazines in the checkout aisle, one by one, started switching from english to spanish. Over time it grew. More clerks. More magazines in espanol. Packaging all over the store slowly became predominately spanish, with the english relegated to the back or bottom of the boxes.

Then, today, the straw that broke the camel’s back. The music. Not just the typical, quiet, background music. Loud, in your face, dominate your shopping experience kind of music. Elevator music? No way! Blues? Jazz? Not a chance! This was South of the border, hat dancin’, big old fat guitar twangin’ mariachi bangin’ music. Come on WalMart. I understand your desire to market to a growing ethnic population, but the music?! You’re making us listen to the music?!

Now don’t get me wrong. I have no problem at all with the Mexican immigrants that have come to our community, after all, as the sign says, “A great place to work and play.” I am a retailer in my community, and I truly appreciate my customers from the South part of North America. They are courteous, happy, and happy to spend money. They never cause grief, they never cut in line, and they alway say hello, thank you, and goodbye. That’s a lot more than I can say about most of my American born customers. But they don’t expect me to speak spanish. They don’t expect me to have spanish labels on my products, and they definitely don’t expect me to have a band of mariachis playing ranchero while they shop.

Wal-Mart has come a long way from the store I remember that had and American flag hanging in every entrance and signs everywhere that used to say “Whenever we can, we buy American made!” Now, the flags must be a little too controversial, and the signs have disappeared along with anything that is American made. In fact, if you’re an inventor who wants your product sold in a Wal-Mart, they are going to tell you the same thing they have told countless suppliers before you. “Fly to China. Meet with some manufacturing plants, and call us when you have cut the cost by at least 70%.”

Wal-Mart is no longer America’s store. Its primary customers in America aren’t Americans anymore, and they no longer have Sam’s legacy desire of supporting American suppliers and manufactures. They’re buying in chinese, selling in spanish, and earning billions of American dollars doing it, all the while paying their employees a pittance and bankrupting the communities they serve.

Sadly, though, while I target Wal-Mart with this rant, they are just a drop in the bucket of the shift in our nations attitude toward nationalism. In the great state of California, at least in the school district that I have some personal experience with, they will not hire a teacher that doesn’t speak spanish. English speaking students are left out because the teachers and most of the class speak to each other all day in spanish. In Salt Lake City, the five year old daughter of a friend isn’t allowed to speak or write english in for half of every school day. She will be expected to be able to speak fluent spanish in order to graduate in twelve years.

Why not German? Why not Japanese? If my kids are going to be required to learn a second language in order to graduate from high school, shouldn’t I, as a parent, be able to choose for my child to learn the language of a country with a growing economy instead of the language of some of the worlds most impoverished countries? Ten years down the road I would rather see my daughter making a business deal to provide information services to a multi-billion dollar Japanese technology firm than being able order dinner from the taco truck in fluent spanish so as not to force the non-english speaking cook behind the window to decipher that difficult english language in the country he chose to live in.

I’m kind of sick of it. I really would like to put a bullet in the forehead of every Che Gueverra shirt I see, but they aren’t even being worn by Latinos. They are being worn by the left wing, liberal, ass kissing communist wannabes that sprung from the genes of third generation, never worked for a penny in their lives, rich ass, spoiled little bronwyn brats that couldn’t give a shit about the millions of lives lost to the real horrors that communism brought into Central and Southern America. It’s these bohemian pricks that are forcing this dual identity on America. Not the hard working immigrants that are trying to make a living here.

There is nothing wrong with national pride. Somewhere along the line someone decided that being an American was something to be ashamed of. To hell with that. I’m proud that I’m American. I’m proud of my language. I’m proud to have the Stars and Striped blowing in the wind out in front of my home. And I am proud to live in a country of immigrants. Asian, European, African, Latino, and more. Imagine though if we all spoke the language of our forefathers. It would be chaos and America would never have become the worlds most powerful country.

The english language is what binds us as a nation, and gives us strength. To make it secondary to spanish anywhere in this nation is an insult to every man and woman who have given their lives in the name of it. If Wal-Mart wants to sell out America to get money from it’s Mexican customers so they can send it to China, that’s there choice. It’s a free country. But where I spend my money is a mine.

Peace,

Wisdom

“Yesterday, the devil [President Bush] came here. Right here. Right here. And it smells of sulfur still today, this table that I am now standing in front of.”
–Hugo Chavez

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez’s use of the U.N. Assembly as a pulpit to spew his psychotic rant against the United States and our president was in short, disgusting and dispicable. If somebody spoke about Chavez in his own country the same way he spoke about President Bush in ours, Chavez’s security forces would have made that person disappear, probabaly along with a few family members and friends. We, as Americans, cannot stand for such a hellish insult to our country. This piece of rotten garbage created his empire using money garnered from CITGO OIL’s sales here in our own country! Without the economic support of AMERICANS, Chavez would be worthless, and his country would be impoverished. Wait, it already is impoverished isn’t it?

This carbon waste piece of shit seems to have a problem with the American way of life, so I say we give him exactly what he wants and cut him completely off from it. No one in this country should be spending a single cent that supports Citgo Oil, Hugo Chavez, or Venezuela. As a retailer, I am contacting my suppliers to demand that they investigate their supply lines an make sure none of the products I purchase from them are related in any way to this cretin, and I encourage everyone else to do the same.

Even liberal bastions Charles Rangel and Nancy Pelosi had the sense to denounce Chavez’s bullshit remarks.

Pelosi called Chavez an

“an everyday thug.”

and Rangel said,

“We resent the fact that he would come to the United States and criticize President Bush. … You don’t come into my country, you don’t come into my congressional district, and you don’t condemn my president.”

Wow! The only thing either of them have ever said that I agree with!

Even John Stewart took a stand against this freak on this one (In his own way), I even laughed during his show tonight!

The people of Harlem, however, had a different view. They cheered him for his apparently successful attempt to bribe them with cheep oil! It’s okay now in this country to bash our President and our country as long as you give the inner city poor a little somethin’ somethin’.
Let’s throw this steaming pile of crap out of our country and never let him back in. Like my shirt says, Viva la Reagan, Revolucion!

Wisdom